Can confidence to learned?

If we watch young children, their confidence seems limitless. They will jump off tall couches, sing at the top of their lungs in grocery stores, and wave to strangers. They seem to have no fear. Yet as we get older, we tend to be more cautious and somewhere along the line, we are taught – and we learn – to be Unconfident. So if we can learn Unconfidence, why can’t we learn Confidence?

This may sound like one of the cheesiest, silliest tricks, but it does work: look at yourself in the mirror and affirm yourself.

I’m not suggesting muttering to yourself or becoming Snow White’s step-mother. But it may surprise you to know many adults cannot look themselves in the mirror as they give themselves positive affirmations. They tend to avert their eyes before they can finish.

Do you?

If you can’t look yourself in the eye and be confident, others won’t believe it either. Even if you don’t quite believe what you’re saying yet, as they say, fake it til you make it.

So if have a job interview, a big presentation, if you’re in a funk, need a quick boost-me-up, or just not feeling as confident as you want to be, try this for two weeks. As you are doing your morning routine, look yourself in the eye and give yourself the affirmation(s) you want to hear…”You are capable. You are talented. You were hired to take this job because others believe you can do it.”

With practice and time, you will not avert your eyes and you will begin to believe it…and others will believe it too.

Here’s a perfect example of who we are before we learn Unconfidence:

When a job is not all what it’s “cracked” up to be, it takes most of us a while to know when it’s time to say goodbye. For many of us, we never really do and end up in jobs or positions that isn’t a good fit, boring, or even toxic. But when it IS time to say goodbye, what is the best way of tendering that resignation?

Of course, there are many reasons to resign from a job – new city, new job opportunity, new baby. Sometimes, however, the reasons are less joyous. Sometimes, it’s because you’ve just had enough and the thought of staying another day makes you want to tear your eyelashes out.

So how and what do you write in that resignation letter? Well, unless there were some serious illegal or unethical issues at hand (at which point, you should be contacting an attorney and HR), it is important to keep it positive.

Sure, you may hate your boss or co-workers, still angry when overlooked for a promotion, or given horrible projects without receiving credit. But tendering your resignation does not mean it’s time to vent.

Especially if you plan on ever working again.

A positive, cordial, respectful parting of the ways is important for your professional and personal reputation. Not only may you need to rely on your former colleagues for future references, but the world is a teeny, tiny place and you never know who from your former company may know or where a former colleague or boss may end up down the line.

The resignation letter goes in your file and it becomes part of your permanent record:

• Keep it simple and professional
• Keep it relatively short (no five page letters)
• Keep it positive (no venting here)
• Thank your boss for the opportunity (yes, even if you didn’t get along)
• Brief reason for resignation (can keep this general, i.e. “other opportunities)
• Final date (see company policy, but depending on role and responsibility, two to four weeks)
• Outline a few key accomplishments during your tenure
• Outline a few areas where you will wrap up/set foundation for your successor (assures boss you are not just up and leaving)
• If you want to leave the door open for future opportunities, offer your interest
• Cordial and professional closing with appreciation

While this is often one of the hardest things in a professional’s life, it can also be one of the best things.

President Kim co-founded Partners in Health with Paul Farmer, among his many achievements. Having met him and seen him speak in person, I am blown away by not only his clear intellect and ability to see things strategically and with the big-picture in mind, but he just has that je ne sais quoi.

Take a look at his insight on leadership.

Might you think the national discussion on obesity is overblown?

This information by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) is shocking and not shocking. The visual is disturbing.

With the economy in such state, and many families struggling, it’s easy to lose sight of what drives us. When someone asks you “what do you want to do? What’s your passion?,” in this environment, the answer is often, “who cares? I just need a job.”

But finding what drives you can indeed help you to be a better job candidate because you are more focused and enthusiastic. Employers can see your hunger and your genuine interest, and that stands out. This drive also helps you to live longer.

So what is your Ikigai?

My what? Your Ikigai! I’ve got one, you’ve got one, everybody’s got one! According to the Japanese, Ikigai is similar to the French raison d’être. Ikigai is a hidden enduring passion that gives your life satisfaction and meaning to be alive. Take a look at this great piece by Dan Buettner, Emmy-winning documentary bicyclist, explorer, and researcher of Blue Zones, regions of the Earth where people live healthy, happy, productive lives past 100.

Source: Andrew Sullivan, The Daily Dish, How to Live to 90

What’s yours?

This includes equal rights to food. According to the World Food Programme, a child dies of hunger every six seconds? That’s SECONDS. Please take a moment to show your solidarity against hunger in support of all the mothers out there trying to feed their children.

Please take 1.09 minutes of your day to take a look:

But at the heart of it, as others have pointed out, my passion to motivate others to find theirs and to reach their fullest potential. But as for many others, particularly women and women of color, it is easy for me to fall trap into the “Imposter Syndome.” While I can easily detect this in others and coach them to overcome the falsity of this thinking, detecting this for myself is a different matter.

I hope you find these occasional tips, articles, and thoughts helpful to discovering your own potential and recognize your true abilities. This is a quote that I keep in my doodle book by Marianne Williamson and hope you find it useful as well:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be…? Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do….. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Why Hummingbird? Hummingbirds are tiny creatures known for their ability to do the impossible: fly upwards, downwards, frontwards, backwards in one place. Their wings trace the 8-figure – the symbol of infinity. They are tireless and energetic, and find the joy and possibility in the most simple of things.

Like hummingbirds, Hummingbird rcc is small and agile, and will help you to uncover the limitless possibilities to drive your organization’s success and your professional and personal aspiration.

Hummingbird rcc gets things done. We help you uncover and unleash your potential and see the possibilities.

Don’t ask why. Ask why not.

We are a research, coaching, and consulting firm that assists you to reach your fullest potential and to surpass your professional, personal, and organizational goals.

We provide customized services for individuals and organizations in:

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To contact: belinda at hummingbirdrcc.com

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